Its really causing a strain on my pregnancy and my marriage. Dogs are great for narcissists; they put their human on a pedestal, revolve their world around the human, and never object. A dog should NEVER get priority over either of those under any circumstance. I have been with my partner for about a year and a half. I uprooted to move all the way to a small middle eastern country leaving all that i cherished ( career,family,friends) behind and was shocked to find my husbands cat coming along. Some of these comments are down right selfish and show a complete lack of understanding of relationships. The mistake that people make is treating animals like a child. When I came into her life she had a pup and it got on my nerves to the end and back. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. [Nutritional Info], Read This If You Cant Sleep Without Your Dog [5 Tips], Read This If You Dont Have Time For Your Dog. She is okay sleeping in her bed,but is preferring to sleep up next to me. His dog lived there when we met. I complete understand your point! But he always begged to get rid of him or constantly goes on walks to get away from him. Wink. Since my dad, also 2 of the 4 I had left passed. In fact, giving less attention to the dog all of a sudden can lead to a number of psychological issues. At home training, if that doesnt work the next step professional training. I sit there trying to enjoy dinner while watching her dog on the couch hovering over her plate! Whatever you feel now, multiply times ten thousand, and that is how much you will hard the shedding when you live with him. Luckily I found a good odor eliminator Pro-Ban. A squishy huge wet spot that I stepped in when I went to wake my daughter up for school. I had her so well trained. Dogs need to be trained and disciplined, and you cant have dogs and treats them like people and see them as gods. I know we need to work on the dogs training, but I feel like it might be easier if my husband liked the dog enough to help share the responsibility of training so that we could tackle it together. I think its a matter of choice. You dont need to do anything, she knows from the beginning your passion for your dog. Cats are manageable they manage themselves. I take my dog for two walks a day, he lets his dog out into his backyard. Get it together. and I mean FIGHT. I have to change something in me and my mindset to make this work. You would assume most dog lovers/owners would treat ALL dogs the same! yeah? After being married 6 months I realized he was married to his dog and I was the third wheel. I absolutely freaked out. When I have tried to discipline him he barks and bites! Dog fanatics include both men and women and those who are affected, who put up with the filth, the cost, and the behavior, are also gender-mixed. Yikes Alisa. Since we have been together 7 years now, problems have started popping up. That just sounds down right cold hearted. Its been 6 months and Im still not used to things but its the sacrifice weve both had to endure. Why not question your need to put human needs beneath dogs. And tell him to rehome the dog if it continues to happen. About a year ago, we got our home renovated and our bathroom upstairs was done beautifully, problem is, we cant really use it because that is his home. I use to say to those around me, Looks like Buffy decided to go to bed. Period! If my SO does not do something with the cat we are done! But he doesnt care. I respect animals and am even a vegetarian, I eat fish. ! I said no! she claims hes depressed with her daughter not being here. I actually love them but never, ever thought that a dog would be treated with such reverence and respect than myself or that every material thing I earned would be destroyed with no acknowledgement by my significant other. Other solutions that are worth considering. My bf always allowed his dog to sleep with him, then we moved in together and I said absolutely not. I cant even take vitamins without this dog trying to take it out of my hands. Do you ever just feel like ending your relationship because of this issue? He is the best thing that happened to me. I have never felt that way about any animal before, but she is just terrible. And I already let me hubby to be know that! Like seriously why is this happening? Its treated better than me. He just puts the bulldog on a pedestal and it causes lots of issues and arguments. So i recently started staying at my fiances house as well be married in about a week and i have been very clear about the dog sleeping with us. Sleepless, Logan, I have to somehow not find all their annoying habits annoying. Iris, this sounds just like my problem. An infant is unable to comprehend parental love until their memory begins to prove around the age of 3. Your allergies seem much more extreme but I have minor allergies to my boyfriends dog and it makes my nose itch its so frustrating. SICK!!!!!!! As a Lab, hair is everywhere to the point it can look like snow drifts across your floor even after cleaning the house the previous day. If you love each other you find a way of adapting whilst keeping in mind the comfort of your boyfriend as well, but there is only so much you can do and someone who is completely opposed to the idea is never going to work. Because Im usually the one home first, given that my working hours start way earlier than my wife. But since we brought her home, I have had doubts and regretted it. I cant make any comments about his dog because he always defends Nd puts the dog above me. The house smells like ammonia and I cant be in that environment, my throat starts to hurt and its just disgusting. For starters, I would like to begin by saying I am not what you people refer to as a dog nut by any means. So, this can be the reason why your husband/boyfriend needs to get rid of the dog. She insisted that they loved her. You should be able to talk with him. This is why people end up divorced, no boundaries are ever respected. Because those relationships arent real relationships. About a year and a half after dating we found out we were pregnant. My birds Ive had for 20 years. Its just crazy! She tried to intervene but it wouldnt stop, biting me a few times. Mine lets the dog in the sofa and the bed even though I told her I didnt like it. If youre like me you may start to feel resentful and that feeling may hide itself for awhile but always comes back to haunt you. Years ago I had a niece who got some sort of virus infection on her nose that the doctor said was from her dog. I think in Mistys case all she can fairly expect is for her partner to groom his dog more so that the fur is as little a discomfort or annoyance as possible. Therefore, they dont want her dog staying over too late because it stresses them out. He showers with the dog!!! I am miserable bc I am not sure if I am allergic to him, or its just my plain old allergies that I had before. Best to put him in a bed in another room. We have 2 dogs. I felt betrayed but chose to comprise and said she can be on the couch, but only on his side. Get with the program, girl and do the right thing. I offered to pay for a local dog whisperer to come into the situation as many times as needed to address a compromise but she wouldnt think of it. My neighbors tell me that they see my SO with the dog more then they see my child. He said that it had been almost a year since he was able to really be affectionate towards his wife. We got a dog 17 years ago because my wife and two kids wanted one. I am sure he would have me put pills in injections into my child if my child were allergic, before he gave up this dog. I live in FL.I see diffrent varieties of dogs over here. I truly Im not fan of this dog and I want him out the bed. >90% of rabies vaccinations are effective, and, a rabid animal would have to have bit your pet. Hes not fixed but her dog is. Then you can adjust the procedure that needs to follow based on the requirements stated by the dog behaviorist. Hello I am in a similar situation and its been very hard. Shes been poorly trained however and isnt at all obedient. I have decided to make my 10 yr old sleep in the basement room so that his barking doesnt wake my husband up and hopefully thatll help some. My dog DOES sleep on my bed. She never relieved herself in the house. She was removed. He said his reason is is that he doesnt make a big production out of it. I attempt to talk to him but he says I must not care enough about him since I dont want to take care of them. Hit the toilet and if you dont by accudent, clean it up. I have plenty of friends who love their dogs and do not let them on their furniture. Scared she would get ran over.. Then it gets cold and I couldnt do it Kids would beg for her to come in and it was hard for me to sleep of a nite shutting the door for bed knowing Bailey dog wanted inside!!! I have been in love with the same woman for over 15 years but my fear is she will leave me because of our difference of opinion with her dog sleeping in our bed. He told me to tell him what to do and that he would wear an earplug to protect his ear but he doesnt always want to live up to that promise and starts yelling at the dog again. Why would you do that? Everything you have said is exactly how I feel 100%. And most of them are not willing to put in the effort it takes to train, walk, and mentally stimulate them. im sorry youre going thru this.my situation is different..but i can totally relate to trying to train and work with a dog and having no one back you up or virtually undo anything you try to do with the dog to make progress..in your case it seems as if your ex is jealous of the bond you have with the puppy.the puppy is young it needs to have training i think yours doing a good thing for him and his dog. I was second and the dog was always placed first. Pet lovers, this is not how to make your non pet-loving spouse become an animal person. Its about him not caring enough about you to make you a priority and that tells me that he doesnt value the relationship to be a healthy life partner unfortunately. There are odd threats, like turning the Guinea pigs loose in the bush or out in the snow {they would be dead} or letting the dogs play with them {again dead}, turning the hamster loose or giving him to the dogs, and shooting my dog. I would really have to wonder if the problem was with my pet or if the problem was actually with me and he was using the pet as the scapegoat. We got a puppy at the beginning of last summer and he had gotten quite large by now. I have a similar problem, my boyfriend, my 2 cats & I have been living together over 5yrs. Im allergic, he smells up the house, he is defiant and disobedient especially when my partner is around why should I have to put up with discomfort? Very Hyopallergenic. They lack human thought and cognitive ability but she trained them to misbehave by rewarding bad behavior. But, I highly recommend you consult a dog behaviorist prior to meeting a relationship advisor. I read your OP, and I am so sorry to hear that you were treated that way. the male dog also pees constantly in the house when the door to the garden is wide open. Definitely do not get rid of the dog and keep the bf. Me and my fiance both have dogs when we met he already had a 3 year old french mastiff and an american eskimo i have 2 beagles, we have been together for 2 yrs and 4 months now and our dogs have never met eachother and he proposed and i said yes as we do have a great relationship, but 1yr ago he asked if i wanted to get a baby girl mastiff with him to try and bread the other and i said yes, so now their is 3 dogs at his house and heres the thingwhen i bring it up that my 2 dogs are comming with me if i move in and ask what if they dont get along then what? He goes on and on about how he would never choose to have a dog. While I see him mostly on weekends, tonight I claimed sickness because I need peace and quiet. Well tonight I was getting in the bed and she was in my spot so I told her to move over, he told me that was her spot and he would rather me sleep on the couch so they could have the bed!!! I tell him to get her off and he just thought it was no big deal -_- and in the pictures he was sending it felt like I was seeing a couple being all snuggly on two couches and he would tell me she would stare at when he wakes up or falls asleep. Bf still makes attempts to pretend it was ME. I really dont like all the shedding and constant licking but I compromised (foot of the bed at least, dog bed on floor at best) and I also wear earplugs. His cat is out co control- Pees and poop outside the litter box and begs all day for food. I felt betrayed but chose to comprise and said she can be on the couch, but only on his side. Refuse to have them? So with equal precision, I packed my stuff and left. I had an idea of how things would be in my first home and they arent. Dont hire dog walkers. Youve been with the guy for 3 years and its bugging you now? Now he has his own backyard so he is outside for nearly 9 hours a day. How is this going to work with 2 dogs?! Ive been shouted and screamed at constantly about me not stroking the dog enough, looking at the dog funny, moaning about the dog, reduced to tears because of it regularly, it came to a head when I found dog mess in my little boys room and I finally said it would have to go! I dont even understand why she wants to keep it, she forgets to feed/water it at times. It can be considered the middle but if your partner is like me, the dog can pose serious health problems. I was even letting the dog outside, feeding it etc. And in the end he was the one that left me and I was finally free from that promise. Its similar to the theory of our subconscious playing out in our dreams and that its a sign of our innermost desires. Like at dinner we have had so many arguments because he wants me to make the dog a plate, at his parents house the dog eats first, literally,,, then people can eat. Ummm. Not to mention, it creates all sorts of issues for the dog. Consult your veterinarian: Its always better to chat with your veterinarian in order to make sure if there is any health-related issue that triggers this lousy behavior. I am still so depressed about it but have gotten better (its been about 6 months since) but i now have an absolute hate for my fiances dog. he kept insisting that the dogs had to be on the bed, there was black dirty, a TON of hair and even drips of pee on the sheet! I cant take it!! My husband has time to go bowling, golfing, drinking, sporting events, and then he wants another dog? We had the exact same problem except I had two dogs when I met my boyfriend. The shelter lied to us about her age, they said she was 4 ( which is still a trainable age,) well it turned out she is more like 6. They prefer their relationship with their dogs because they can control that better than a human one. I met my husband in 2003, I didnt have a pet then, but very soon after we started dating I acquired a rescue cat called Oscar. Giving priority to the dog over the husband. She has a female dog and I have a male dog. It is a very unhealthy bond. I was never able to spoon with my husband or cuddle, since he would be spooning with one of the dogs. I wish that I could come up with a solution. So we decided to take action and ask our landlord to have her live with us, the landlord said yes. Growing up we had dogs but they were never allowed to run in the house never sit on furniture or even go into bedrooms. I dislike this dogs disposition but I can deal with that. Anyone who would hurt something that means so much to someone is a cold hearted person who cares for no one but themselves. It is one of the excellent ways to keep your dog mentally stimulated throughout the day, making a well-behaved dog. But hey thats my fault, bs gag. Jennifer: I dont know what to do. I can hardly stand the dog at all anymore but I love him to pieces! Just picture when you have kids. My cat (had before we met) is and indoor/outdoor cat. Just like it would be a mistake to get involved with someone with children who hates hates hates children.. Simple. I am not a dog nut. Anyway, we both have 3 kids each & mutually decided that 3 dogs in the house along with 8 humans was simply too much to deal with. I watch the dogs all day when my husband is at work. I have told him how I dont like them mouth breathing beside me when I am eating and he thinks I am mean. He does not bathe the dog for months and expect me to watch TV with a dog that stinks. He just doesnt get it, he cant understand the appeal and only focuses on the stuff he hatesthe smell of cat food or a litter tray that has just been used, even though both items were in the utility room and our house is clean. I was extremely lucky because I do know people who have animals that have never been able to heal from abuse past or bad habit these are the pets that should not be bred or be kept away. He paid for her happily, he bought tonnes of new things happily, he paid for her spayed happily, he made her a beautiful wood bed, with memory foam mattress, happily. Were up to 6 medium to large holes in the carpet. As it turned out we remained together and now I find myself unemployed having to move out and having to find a job as soon as possible as an immigrant in a country that has the worst rates of employment for immigrants in the whole Europe. Are you serious right now? People who think animals love them more and do not hurt them, as my partner says, need some help. 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