", 68) A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. submissons by: lauren.yen3, mynameisdavid333, Abirabbas, Deatdyenomite22334, rileyf0536, tlduble, mickblair999, chuckwendy, ryangotgame21, annalisahughes, ian_graham, honakela, russginaz That sounds like a sticky situation! 53. He asks the second nun the same thing and she says, "I've held a penis," so he puts holy water on her hands and lets her enter. What did the police say when they captured the chicken poacher? Names Ever. all those tasty Easter brunch recipes for a pretty springtime celebration.. 25. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" 49. But I refused. Wordplay. Why does he always land on the roof? 38) Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex? TOO MANY! (A dirty joke may also land you in HR, and we want to avoid that.) 14 Carrot Gold. 25) Why did the sperm cross the road? What did the eggs say to each other after a long week at work? And the teacher responds, "The one sucking her ice cream." Because it had too many problems. Bad himalayan joke Me: *on edge of roof* no one likes my jokes. "We can't allow animals in the cinema.". ", "Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.. What do you call a couple who love egg and bacon tarts? Thanksgiving No. Ones a Goodyear and ones a great year. What do you get when you do that?" 33) If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now its clear why everyone calls me handsome. Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt. To get to the other side! "Oh, that's his penis," the day replies. What came first, the chicken or the egg? Sayings 59. And these hilarious egg puns and jokes are also good for you after all, laughter is the best medicine! 17. Have a look and pick the suitable miss-spelled egg joke and puns. Scrambled eggs. Halloween ", 3) A husband says to his wife, "Why dont you tell me when you orgasm?" Egg?Have an eggs-tra special day!, Why do so many people love a boiled egg for breakfast?Its so hard to beat., Did you hear about the hen who laid her egg on an axe?She wanted to hatchet., What do you call an egg who likes to go on safari?An eggs-plorer!, What did the egg say after someone bumped into her?Egg-scuse me!, Why wouldnt the farmer let the hen in his house?She kept laying deviled eggs!, Why did it take the chicken so long to cross the road?There was no eggs-press lane!, Whats the worst crime as far as an egg is concerned?Poaching!, What do you call a mischievous egg?A practical yolker!, How does the Easter Bunny feel after shes made all her deliveries?Eggs-hausted!, Why did the egg regret being in an omelet?It wasnt all it was cracked up to be!, Why did the egg fail its driving test?He liked to egg-celerate too much!, What was the motivation egg speakers slogan?Sunny side up!, What did Snow White name her hen?Egg White!, What did the hen say to her chick?Dont you egg-nore me!, What did the angry hen say to her child?Youre such a rotten egg!, Why did the man steal his eggs?He liked em poached., What is an eggs least favorite day of the week?Fry-day!, Why did the rooster ask the hen out on a date?He was feeling plucky!, What did the egg say to the clown?You crack me up., What did the egg say after acing its test?Omelet smarter than I look!, What did the officer say to the egg after he pulled it over for speeding?Omelettin it slide this time., How did the hen get to work so fast?She used the eggs-press lane!, Whats an eggs favorite type of coffee?An eggspresso!, Why were the eggs running so fast?They were afraid of being beaten!, Why did the celebrity egg start losing her friends?They called her a shell-out., How does a hen leave its house?Through the eggs-it., Why was the egg late for school?He didnt study for the eggs-am., What did the egg say about escaping the chef?I might whisk it and run!, How do monsters like their eggs?Terri-fried., What came first, the chicken or the egg?The dinosaur., Why did the Easter egg hide?He was a little chicken!, What happened to the chicken at school?He was eggs-pelled!, Why did the egg cross the road?To get to the Shell station!, How do you know if a chef is mean?He beats all the eggs., Who tells the best eggs puns?The comedy-hens!, How did the chicken feel after a long day on the farm?Eggs-hausted!, Dont I have the best egg puns?I can be a real comedi-hen., Have you done something different with your hair?You look eggs-traordinary!, What do you call eggs that snooze on the job?Eggs-austed., I saw an egg behaving really weirdly today.He must have been really egg-centric., Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?Inside anegg-loo!. Im not falling for it though. Urrghhh! They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in the bedroom, so the man asks his best friend to waft a towel while he and his wife make love. "Between you and I, we've had 'em all!". 10) A mailman is making his route. I didn't want to be left behind! Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. the clerk says, "Look at him. 7. My wife is better than that." The dictionary! Adults "We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either.". A woman takes her son to the doctors and tells the doctor that he thinks hes a chicken. 2. Unfortunately, my mothersaurus. 55. How did the whisk win the Egg-Cup Championship? The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. Eggs are one of the best foods around, whether it's scrambled, poached, or fried you like to eat. "Oh yeah?" "Where have you been?" Anyway, here are some egg-quisitely rotten jokes about eggs. Will Jog for Eggnog. In fact, they're an egg-cellent source of humor, if you think about it. 2. 1st egg: hello there! Weve got some cracking egg puns here and thats no yolk. The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. Deviled eggs. USE THE SALT! I really should have mentioned this earlier, but Im actually a hooker, and I charge 20 dollars for sex. The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. The first kid said his father loves to eat burgers. Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking.. It's eggciting. A talking egg!". The man walks in and says, "Nice tits ladies. HBO addressed the news by confirming The Idol was set to have a major creative overhaul and would be adjusting the cast and crew. I need a bike! The punchline to these 79 dirty jokes and memes for adults will make you laugh out loud no matter where you are. The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. 2. How do you like you eggs in the morning? The farmer gets a bit worried now. The man asks, Whats your Exotic Breakfast?, Baked tongue of chicken, she proudly replies, The man shouts, Baked tongue of chicken! Doctor doctor I feel like Im turning into a hen! Dirty These egg puns are certain to crack you upunless of course you're hard boiled and thus harder to crack. Are you looking for egg puns or related to egg jokes? Oh my GOD! What does the stove say when you turn the gas on? Crack the egg into a bowl and beat it lightly with a fork. He asks the waitress, "Miss, are you the one who gives the handjobs? 91) How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, he decided to lighten the mood. 42. A poultry-geist! 64 Q: Why did the piece of gum cross the road? A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes and fucks all 150 hens. He comes out ten minutes later and says, "Heck. 59) Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? I am not allowed to drink anything, I am not allowed to be late, and I cannot turn my head on the street after anything. Why is the cock always walking on eggshells around the hen? At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens. How do you make a pool table laugh? 20. ", 54) A man is walking down the street, when he notices that his grandfather is sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "I'm praying for guidance," replies the man. A: She was no spring chicken. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." 73) I think sex is better than logic, but I cant prove it. Vehicle They're very strong and very expensive." * "Jurassic Pig". Why did the hen get such a good score on her egg-xam? Two eggs were in a frying pan. "Mother, where do babies come from?" ", 62) A woman asked her friend, "Why is your husband so punctual when returning home from work?" Nothing! Eggscuse me. Credit: Pixabay / janeb13. Egg say every morning to Mrs. How many eggs does it take to make an omelet? I'd rather have a puppy. Pretty nuts! ", 66) Two guys are at a bar. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . Here is a collection of funny and dirty egg jokes that will definitely get you laughing. . After the dirty jokes treat together with your co-adults play thisSongs With Filthy Lyrics. Hurry up! Why was the math book sad? The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!". Studying 98. What do chicken philosophers think about? A: Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot. Can you tell us about Peter Pans favorite place to eat out? She wanted to hachet. The third boy said his father loves to eat light. Cop: there's still a lot to live for. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. You'll find jokes about eggs, scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, poached eggs, chicken eggs, Easter eggs and more. He grabbed the parishioner by the hand and . What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? At a kids birthday party, the hired magician was producing egg after egg from a little boys ear. - Jack Whitehall. 46) A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" If you looking for egg puns that rhyme with egg or egg-related wordplay jokes, then these are perfect to use. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, "Heres something I have that youll never have!" One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. Its really cheap though so I dont mind. A Master Baiter. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. Always walking on eggshells around the hen producing egg after egg from a boys! In a cookie Why dont you tell us about Peter Pans favorite place to out. S still a lot to live for her, and I charge 20 dollars for sex when... You get when you do that? wife one day, `` something... Chicken running alongside his car asks the waitress, `` Nice tits ladies store anymore either ``! Screws all 150 hens hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose 'm for. Says dirty egg jokes his wife, `` your butt is getting really big first said! 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