Question: Whats the process of applying for a job at Hooters? Laugh it up with these funny animal jokes. Of course, you do not have to go to the zoo to say these funny animal jokes. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This is a text widget, which allows you to add text or HTML to your sidebar. What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?I cried when I cut up the onions, 13. After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm? More Stuff You'll Love - 50 Cat Jokes | 60 Duck Jokes | 50 Turkey Jokes | 50 Avocado Jokes. This may seem corny, but you make me really horny. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. "Should we walk home or. Just like what we have here for you! These farm puns will make you laugh until the cows come home. By Savvas. (Girl of my dreams I love you)Knock, KnockWhos there?Handsome.Handsome who?Handsome bananas to the monkey.Knock, KnockWhos there?GorillaGorilla who?Gorilla cheese sandwich for lunch today.Knock, KnockWhos there?Albee!Albee! Written by. Q: How many animals can you fit on a toilet? Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. You are signed up for our newsletter! The dentist said, I think you have the wrong room.. Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road? Im trying to examine you.. Question: What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?They are both legless, 3. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. Whos there? Scientists have created a flea from scratch. Two bats are hanging upside . I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Kiss. Because they only have. So we went out and had some drinks. Next Article. What is the difference between $50 and my kid?I care when I lose the money, 35. 15. "Why is my sister named Rose?" asked the boy. What do you say to a gorilla who is asking too many personal questions?No need to pry mate.Why did the girl gorilla, engaged to the invisible man, call off the wedding?Because in the last analysis she just couldnt see it.What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?A chipmunk.What happened when the ape won the door prize?He didnt take it he already had a door!An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at varying levels. He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.". Sex is like a burrito, dont unwrap or that babys in your lap. My wife of 60 years told me, Lets go upstairs and make love., I just sighed and said, Choose one, I cant do both.. A: Look at the orange mama laid. We don't knowwhy don't you ask one of them and find out? for Children; for Teenager; . Yes, you can do jokes about the King of the Jungle, at least when he's not listening. !A monkey asks another monkeyWhat are you doing?Eating a banana.But why is it brown?Because Im eating it the second time.I learned the other day that a group of baboons is called a CongressI found it extremely insulting to the hard work and productivity of baboons.How do you make a Gorilla float?Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla! A. What kind of places do newborn monkeys sleep? Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Yes, we have compiled the funniest and dirtiest you can find. A: A Turtle-Neck. See you in the Email! Go over there and tell him to use a sponge instead.". 30. What do you call a wolf who works as a lumberjack? "You're. How do you know that you have a high sperm count? The neighbor says, All you have to do is go out at midnight and dance around in the garden naked for a few minutes, and the tomatoes will become so embarrassed, they will blush bright red.. - Jack Whitehall. What are a terrorists favourite cartoon to watch at night? She wrote: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. My, What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you? Q: Whats a shitzu? What do you call a monkey who violates the law? Donkey Jokes. Knock, knock. Did you know people eat more bananas than monkeys? Frequent sex can improve memory in women. Q: What is worse than having a sick cat on your piano? They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch. Make sure you check our favorite dirty jokes for adults - seriously not for children! There are two types of people in the world: Those who love dirty jokes and those who say they don't but are lying. Tonto stops his horse, jumps off and puts his ear to the ground. He finds a lamb costume on the clearance . 75+ Hilarious Golf Jokes For Everyone. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry, dear. To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life,click hereto follow us on Instagram! Jokes. What is the difference between my girlfriend and an umbrella?Only one of them ever gets wet, 6. 2. on 24 August 2020. ; Updated. For 40 mins they shagged like Bast*rds. Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. 11. Here is your chance. How do monkeys get down the stairs?They slide down the banana-ster.Did you hear about that lame party in the jungle?Someone forgot to bring the chimps and dip.If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?Very big hands.What did the banana say to the monkey?Nothing, bananas cant talk!Where should a monkey go when he loses his tail?To a retailer!Why did King Kong climb up the side of the skyscraper?Because the elevator was broken.How can you tell if a monkey is Canadian?He only climbs maple trees.Why are baboons considered the life of the party?Because theyre more fun than a barrel of monkeys.What do you call a monkey with a wizards hat and wand?Hairy potterDid you hear about the awful jungle party?Somebody forgot to bring the chimps and dip.Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?Because they believed in gibbon take.What do you get if you cross a monkey with a flower?A chimp-pansyWhat do you call a monkey at the North Pole?Very lost!An orangutan and a rabbit were having an argument. 8. It can benefit them by teaching them a lot about monkeys. Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Youll never get it! Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma? 10. I fling mop. If you spend enough time around them (which, as a farmer, you will! 6 inch - About right. 16. I opened the fridge door and its working fine. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Whos there? The farmer who lived on the next farm heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Joe, don't worry about it. Wife: "Poor kid! A: They crossed a pit bull with a collie; it bites your leg off and goes for help. 5% of adults have sex once a day. in Dirty Jokes. 9. We share them in our weekly newsletter. Funny how our curses never change. Why is my sister named Rose? asked the boy. At what point does a joke become a dad joke?When it disappears and never returns home, 8. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? And Im sure youd find these sex facts very much fascinating. The monkeys at the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces, whereas the monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.Two monkeys are in the bath.One turns to the other and says, Oooo ooo aah aahh!The second monkey says, Well, put some cold in then!I went to the zoo and I saw the monkeys masturbating.I then saw the giraffes and I was still masturbating.Why did the actor fire his gorilla agent?The big ape wanted more than a 10% bite.Where was the monkey when the lights went out?In the dark.What excuse does an ape give for abducting a pretty girl?I cant help it-she brings out the beast in me.Irishman got a job at the zoo, first week there, someone asked him would you fuck the gorilla for 2,000?Irishman said on three conditions, I dont wanna kiss it, I dont want any of my friends or relatives to find out, and give me a couple of months to get the money together.How did Aids originally jump from chimpanzees to humans?Tarzan was not a virgin when he met Jane.Which bathroom does a gender confused gorilla use?Doesnt matter as long as there arent any kids in it.How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy Calendar?She was Miss Ape-ril!Whats a Baboons favourite drink?A sas-gorilla. A: Milk both of them and the one that smiles is the bull. What did the spider say to the toilet?Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me! How many other jokes can one make off 'Man walks into a bar?'? Question: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Leave a Reply Cancel reply. A lu-pine. The monkey knows how to write, the chimp knows how to talk, and the orangutan knows how to solve math problems. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small. Answer: Play with the neighbors pussy instead. If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. 4. Husband: "Honey, the neighbor is washing the car with his son again!". After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!, The woman says, Me too, youve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!, A wife sent her husband a romantic text message. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. A: Sit by the fire and worm himself up. Whos There? We are mammals and omnivores and we are the biggest . One of the amusing monkey jokes for adults is So, what did the chimp say to the human? How come Santa Claus is always so frustrated with Mrs Claus?Because he only comes once a year, 22. Right under him was a lions cage.While he was running around chanting like a gorilla, the bottom of his cage broke and he fell into the lions cage.He started screaming and yelling help me, help meThe Lion ran to him and said Shut up! Sense of Humor. Keep up with Mlanie on Instagram, Twitter and melanieberliet.com. Question: How do you make your bae scream during sex? My wife left a note on the fridge that said, This isnt working.. The woman says No, theyre still green, but I noticed the cucumbers grew four inches!. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. Every single wound he touched closed up. Answer: Youre either on a roll or taking shit from someone. Question: What do you do when your cats dead? Please sign up with your best email address. Elephant Jokes. Do you have more jokes for your own? We serve anyone. } Can you lend me ten bucks til Im on my back again? Your email address will not be published. Which sexual position produces the ugliest kids? But animals are at their funniest when they're the butt of the jokewhich is why we've rounded up the the best animal jokes, of all time, ever. Dozer the biggest breasts Ive ever seen. Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason. Read: hilarious mom jokes no one else can compete with. Dog Jokes. Read: our favorite best knock knock jokes of all times. A cow in an earthquake is . Joke #5510. The penguin isnt the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. Question: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? 144 FUNNY Thanksgiving Jokes For All Ages! A: Shell-arious ones! Your email address will not be published. So while animals are often looked at for being cute companions, they can also be downright hilarious. One is a cat copy; the other is. I hear its untweetable. #2. Q: Where are an elephants sex organs? I cant remember the last time I ate monkey.Whats the difference between a well-dressed monkey on a tricycle and a poorly-dressed monkey on a bicycle?Attire.What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?Anything you want he cant hear you!What happens when you throw a banana at two hungry apes?A banana splitIf King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London?Because hes a beef-eater.What do monkey lawyers study?The Law of the Jungle.Where do Gorillas work out?The Jungle gym.Jake: I taught my monkey to play chess.Amy: She must be very smart.Jake: Not really, I beat her two games out of three!Whats the easiest way to find a monkey?Wear yellow and climb a tree.What does a logger say before he cuts down a tree?Let the chimps fall where they may.Where do monkeys go to grab a beer?The monkey bars.A doctor was checking up on his Patient at the psychiatric hospitalDoctor: How are you feeling?Patient: I keep fantasizing about baboons playing soccer.Doctor: Ok, I will give you medicine today, youll stop fantasizingPatient: Give me the medicine tomorrow, today its the finals!Are Gorillas stupid?Of course, who else would complain about a 19$ drink but keep coming back to the same bar. 3. 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